February 2010
Day 20 - pt.3
<D>
I’m actually afraid to ask you that question. Would you lie to me, or tell me the truth? Every time I ask that question to someone, he always lies to me first. When I pursue more, then he tells me the truth. It’s ridiculous. Why must they do that? The fact that they lied to me just gets me every time. Why didn’t you just tell me the truth to start with, instead of...
January 2010
Day 20 - pt.2
<Iseewutyoudidthere>
No, seriously. I know what you’ve been doing all these times. This is what you last wrote to me:
I’ve never given up on you throughout these past years. Through good and bad… You’ve been near and dear to my heart since the very day I met you. All I’ve ever wanted was to be your only love. You’ve been all the way over in Canada for a long...
“When songs that you’ve been listening to all your life suddenly jump out...”
– Me.
Day 20
<Ramble>
If a doctor told me that I was going to die soon…what would I do?
Man…my first reaction: …that sucks.
I lived my life as awesome as I could, yet I have so many things that I wanted to accomplish…
That would be my next reaction…
My friends…what about my friends? They’ve become such big part in my life, especially when I had no family to...
Day 19
<D>
I just love spending time with you. Laying on my bed, talking about this and that, laughing about how ridiculous we are while cuddling together, looking into each other’s eyes. My heart fills with great warmth that expands from here to who knows where. I don’t care what’s going on outside when I’m with you. I just care about how close we are and what we converse...
Jay Z - I Know
And I Know And I Know And I Know And I Know And I Know And I Know And I Know And I Know I know what you like Everything you love I know what you like Everything you love And I Know And I Know And I Know And I Know And I Know And I Know And I Know And I Know I know what you like ….HOV Baby you love ….HOV Baby you love ….HOV Baby you like ….HOV Uh- She wants that old thing...
Day 18 - pt.2
<D>
They say I deserve better.
Is it true?
I don’t know what’s “better” anymore. You’re one of the nicest people I’ve ever met. And I know you’re a very good person indeed.
So I really don’t care whether I need a boyfriend who’s a doctor, engineer, whatever. I really don’t care.
I like you, and you like me (supposedly), so all...
Day 18
<D>
You’re starting to slip away. I feel as though you don’t like me anymore. Is that a correct assumption, or am I just hella wrong?
</D>
<Ramble>
1. I’ve done stupid things, but last night was beyond stupid. No more fooling around like that. That was just dumb. Sure, I had good laughs out of that night, but that was just…stupid. Totally not worth...
Day 17
<Ramble>
I’ve been feeling really tired. I went to bed at 10:30pm last night, woken up by my alarm clock at 7:30am, only to go back to sleep and wake up at 8:30, feeling still exhausted, go to sleep, then my alarm clock rings at 9am to remind me that I have a psych quiz today at 1pm.
Fuck.
I don’t know why I’m so tired. Is it just in my head? Is this why I’m always...
Day 16 - pt.3
<D>
Lately, I feel as though you’re distant from me.
I wonder why.
</D>
Day 16 - pt.2
<Ramble>
I’m really exhausted. I can’t feel my legs. They’re just there, limp. I can’t lift them. It takes too much effort to walk on them. I’m fine, I’m fine, I’m fine…just really exhausted.
Last night I was watching Jennifer’s Body. Funny movie. Some scenes were like, “Lmao that scene was taken JUST for that purpose.” It...
Day 16
<K>
Fuck. Why did I have to know about it?
</K>
<D>
GUHHHH WHY DID YOU TELL ME
</D>
Day 15
<Ramble>
Last night was just too much. Head feeling like it’s going to explode, sensory overload, feeling like I was drowning.
Now I know why I’ve always stayed away from it.
I regret it so much…but…
At least I learned.
</ramble>
Day 14
<Ramblerambleramble>
Girl, who do you think you are? Stay away from him.
</ramblerambleramble>
<D>
I know I have created that insecurity in you. I’m sorry. I hurt you, and this is your scar. I understand. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.
If it makes you feel any better, I think you’ll end up hurting me.
It’s funny…at the beginning,...
Day 13 - Pt. 2
<Ramble ramble ramble>
I’m exhausted. For the past two days, I have not been able to sleep properly. Sleep at 5 or 6 in the morning, woken up at 9 or 9:30 just because, and then lay in bed for two hours, half asleep, half awake, only to be finally woken up, back to reality, by the alarm clock next to my bed. Fuck, still can’t get up. Lay there for about good 10 minutes. I might...
Day 13
<DEAR M:>
Okay, your last email ended with you completely insulting me. So when your patience runs out, you think I’d want to be friends with you? No, I wouldn’t.
And no, I’m not AFRAID. For fuck’s sake, M, get it through that thick head of yours: IT’S SO TIRING TO KEEP OUR FRIENDSHIP. IT JUST IS. TRYING TO KEEP IT UP FOR ALMOST TWO YEARS NOW, AND EVERY TIME...
Day 12
<D>
You are a very important person to me.
</D>
Day 11
<M>
You and I have definitely moved on. I admit that. But you wanting to be friends again…it’s so tiring. Our friendship is so energy-wasting. Back and forth, insults pouring in and out. I don’t want that. I have better things to do than to sit in front of the computer wasting time with you. Leave me alone. You think insults are going to brings us back being friends? Think...
Day 10 - pt. 4
“But the things we love about each other most are in color.” -M.H.
Day 10 - pt. 3
<D>
Her words still linger your heart, doesn’t it…
Is this another history repetition?
Or am I just tripping?
Please tell me the truth.
I’m so sick of being hurt.
</D>
Day 10 - pt. 2
<D> Sigh. Why am I always worried? </D>
Day 10
<D>
I felt kinda hurt…jealous, maybe, when you said that you, K, and these two other girls were going out for some hot pot. Your reason for not inviting me was because you thought I wanted it to be just me and you. The thing is, you should never assume things about me…I’m unpredictable, you see. My feelings, depending on the day, change…
I mean, of course, if I were...
CAN’T STOP LISTENING TO THIS...
Mom, there’s no more “ego” of mine for you to put down. I’m as humble as I can be, if anything, I’m very self-conscious and low-confident. You’ve been putting me down all my life. It’s time for you to put me back up so I can have a better attitude towards life.
I’m so glad dad’s the confidence-booster because without his words, I would still...
Day 8
<D>
I’m so happy being with you. I love it. You make me feel so happy. Sometimes, I wonder what would’ve happened if I kept my silence. It probably would’ve ended up the same way as I am with C. How sad would that have been? Another mistake, but this time, avoided. I’m so thankful to be with you. You keep on making me smile with your ridiculous accents. You make me...
The good:
I recommend caramel apple fritter from Tim Horton’s to a complete stranger and later that night, he comes back with an extra caramel apple fritter to give to me. <3
The bad:
After a talk with my parents, which ended up as a fight, I am now unmotivated, suicidal, and don’t want to do anything anymore, while waiting for my life to end as soon as fucking possible.
The...
Crushed.
Motivations…gone.
Stress…appeared.
Wanting to kill myself…happenin’ again.
Headache reoccurring.
Just wanna shoot myself so I can just get away from all these complications.
Day 7
<Main>
When I told you who I’m going out with, you said some really mean stuff about him. I was quite shocked. You said it’s because you care and you’re watching out for me, but man, that mean?
</Main>
Day 6
<D>
I think today is Day 6. Just spending time with you, laughing and giggling about how ridiculous we are…I’m just so happy with you. It’s been awhile since I felt happy without feeling so guilty. I’ve always felt so guilty while being with someone. I was always worried about me hurting the person one way or another, or feeling suffocated by my partners’...
Day 4
<D>
I went to visit you because I felt that pang of jealousy when my brain told me things that I didn’t want to know. My heart wanted to see you. It’s only been a day or two since I’ve seen you, yet I just wanted to run to you.
And that’s when I realized, I like you.
When did you put such a charm on me? Your gentleness? Your genuine care for me? Your kisses? Your...
Day 3 - D
I actually feel jealous.
Fuck.
Day 2 - D pt. 2
I just realized something.
The last person was that person.
I should’ve known.
Oh. No?
Day 2 - D
The thing is, right, even though I like you, I don’t want anything to start because it just wouldn’t work out…isn’t that sad? I’m too busy. I can’t make you happy.
Sigh.
On the other note! I’m not taking that job. I’m doing something else instead.
WILL I GET THE JOB?!!!
The manager called and told me I can come in today for training from 5pm. If I pass, I will get the job.
WILL I GET TEH JOB?!!!!!!
Let’s hope so, because I’m bored with my life.
Oh no.
<Day 1 - D>
I know now. I know for sure. I like you. After tonight, I realized it.
But the thing is, I’m not sure what to do. I’m afraid of a lot of things. I know for sure that I’ll tell you how I feel. But that’s as far as it will go, because I’m scared.
Another thing…whenever I see him, it’s a renewed feeling of attraction.
But when I see...
Day 1 - N.
You know, there used to be days where I didn’t care about you. This or that, I couldn’t give a damn.
But then you got close…too close.
And when you left, just like that, I felt devastated. You hurt my pride, and ever since, I became vulnerable.
That day, when you came to R.C. with your girlfriend, I felt my heart squeeze in a bad way. It hurt really bad. If it wasn’t for...
Day 1 - C.
You know, from time to time, I find myself thinking about you.
I miss you, but I just realized something as I see your profile.
I don’t think I miss you like I used to.
Maybe because I see someone else and forget everything around me because the world melts but him.
Or maybe because you broke my heart into million pieces and I just can’t feel anything toward you anymore.
...
“It’s beauty that captures your attention but personality which captures your...”
– (via missmemuch)
EXACTLY!!!! THAT’S WHY I DON’T BELIEVE IN “LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT”! It’s more like, “Attraction at first sight”. HAHA
Here We Go Again
<Day 1>
I wasn’t surprised, when you asked me when I was working, because of the conversation we had last night, and how “ugh” and “guh” I felt about the things I heard from other people. Comfort visit, I suppose.
It was good though. I’m glad you visited. After we said “bye”, I was flustered, because I was confused.
Do I like you? Why does...